Neurotypical Development - Comparing your kids Part 1

Have you been told not to compare your kids to other kids?

Comparing is bad?

Your little one is growing up and starting to crawl or babble and you’re wondering “should they be doing that?” or “shouldn’t they be walking by now?” or “should they be pointing by now?”.

Thoughts like that would come up in my mind. Especially with my firstborn. My first baby! There is nothing that can prepare you. When I would voice my concerns I would get “don’t compare him to other kids. He’s on his own schedule.” I would start reading up on it I would read the same thing. When I looked at the developmental milestones that C should be hitting, he did…eventually. He always seemed to be on the end of the spectrum. But because he eventually hit the milestones I was never really concerned. For example, he walked (more like ran) at 18 months. Most kids take their first step at 12 months but it’s not uncommon to start walking later.

I didn’t spend too much time with other kids C’s age and didn’t have much experience with babies at all. I had no one to compare him to and no one voiced their concern to me either. I had no idea how delayed C was and that the delay should be a concern. I wish I compared him to kids his age. I wish I read more about the developmental milestones.

I have to put in a disclaimer that I am not a doctor or any kind of professional in the medical field. I cannot diagnose anyone. But I am a mom that has 3 children will all different abilities. Even though C hit his milestones late as a baby and toddler, he was diagnosed with autism at 6. How I wish that we got him diagnosed earlier so that we can do early intervention with him.

I want to encourage you to compare. Compare your child to the standard developmental milestones. Look at the list of things they should be doing. Is your baby on track? What’s different about them? How do they interact with others their age? If you have the slightest concern I urge you to talk to their pediatrician. Talk to other moms. If there is nothing out of the ordinary then great! But if you have the slightest gut feeling then trust your motherly instinct. Talk to someone about it. A diagnosis is not the end. A diagnosis is a start. It’s a new beginning. There is so much you can do to help your little one thrive!

I want to provide you some links to where you can find developmental milestones. Check them out.

Compare your child.

Ask questions.

Here in California where I live we have Kaiser Permanente Medical insurance and this is the link to their list of developmental milestones.

kp.org

This one is from American Academy of Pediatrics

healthychildren.org

The CDC

cdc.gov

Next week I will talk about Autism and provide a list of autism signs and symptoms. There are so many misconceptions and stereotypes. I want to clear some of those up for you.

You got this mom. Trust yourself and your instincts.

If you’d like a great cheat sheet on typically developing children versus children with Autism I created a PDF printable just for you.